Saturday, April 08, 2006

Drink Up, Dreamers, You're Running Dry

Ok, so I'm going to give away one of My little secrets. You guys are going to love this. When I first told this to the disciples, it blew their minds! And I was telling them wild stuff all the time, but this little fun fact really through them for a loop. Stick with Me, this is fun. Ready?

Earth used to be surrounded by a giant ocean that completely engulfed your world… about 10 miles up in the sky. Don’t freak out, but this is totally true! I don’t lie. This ain’t one of them website April Fools things. Stay with Me here.

So when My Dad was making everything… you know, that whole six days and then He rested for a day thing… while He was making Earth, He really did make a giant ocean that surrounded the planet, way up in the sky. This is actually in My book. Check out the first paragraph of Chapter 1, and you’ll notice that on the second day, My Dad separated the water with sky… so there was a layer of water, then a layer of sky, and then another layer of water. That top water floated above your atmosphere for years. People always think that this was when My Dad was making the Earth’s oceans and lakes, but that was with the first layer of water on day three. He didn’t touch that top layer of water again until He decided to drown everything.

You know how the idea of a giant flood killing all the Earth sounds a little far fetched? I can see how this might be hard for you to wrap your head around, but when Noah was building that boat, nobody had ever seen rain before. It literally had never rained. My Dad had this whole other system set up where the Earth was more like a humid green house, thanks to this water way above the Earth. This is how people lived a lot longer and this is how lizards could live for centuries and grow into dinosaurs. Well, once My Dad decided to kill everything and start over again, he simply let that ocean of water hovering above the Earth drop, thus killing everything pretty quickly. Nobody but Noah and the gang survived because nobody knew what was going on. An ocean literally fell on them and destroyed most every living thing. It was intense. Ever since then, your world has a different atmosphere because that layer of water is no longer above your world. I know this sounds nuts but My Dad is a genius and this is how created your world. The original plan didn’t call for wild weather, so this green house situation was pretty utopian. But once mankind was getting a little out of hand, God decided to shake up His Earthly Etch-A-Sketch and start again. If you think your world is screwed up now, you got nothing on what it was like then.

Anyway, I know this all sounds crazy, but keep in mind this is coming from a guy who was dead for thee days and can walk on water. Believing in Me is pretty wild and there’s a lot that might not make sense to you, but when you get up here and My Dad and I are able to explain everything to you, you are going to flip out like the disciples did when I shared with them this little fun fact. Just wait to you hear how My Dad helped Noah get those animals in a boat… My Dad’s a genius.

And what song would best fit such a post? How about a song about a flood sung by Peter Gabriel in german?!!! That's what I call a find! Take that, Gorilla Vs. Bear! You might be getting name dropped in Rolling Stone, but do you have some Peter Gabriel singing in german? You probably do, actually. Well, so do I. We're even.

Peter Gabriel - Here Comes The Flood (German - Vinyl B-Side).mp3


At 8:10 PM, Anonymous m said...

Hi Jesus. This has nothing to do with your fine post. I just thought you might want to pick up the latest issue of Under The Radar magazine, because they have profiles of two of your favorites--The Flaming Lips and Grandaddy's Jason Lytle. Enjoy!

At 10:50 AM, Blogger teva said...

I was just discussing this the other day with a friend, nobody ever talks about Genesis 1 like that, I knew we were right. Thanks Jesus for clearing it all up now I can sleep better at night

At 11:20 AM, Blogger Cassandra said...

Jesus -

I think some of the heathens down here call that the "canopy" theory. Many thanks to sharing it!

Oh, and stop being so humble! We know that it's through you that the world was created! (Col. 1:16, John 1:2)

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At 1:44 AM, Blogger Robert said...

Hey Jesus -- I was hoping you could clear some things up for me. Before all this water fell there were dinosaurs, yeah? Are they in the bible? How about Noah -- why did he leave them behind? Why are there fossils from the dinosaurs but not the people who lived with them?

The whole mess is awfully confusing to me and it's one of those things that sort of pushes towards science and away from you. Sorry.

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