Sunday, November 26, 2006

Key Of Life

God Is Love.

Love Is Blind.

Stevie Wonder Is Blind.

Uh Oh.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Jesus Jones Soda

I love Thanksgiving. Way back in the day, lots of pilgrims died and food was difficult to come by. A second evil winter was about the rear its ugly head, and the gang decide instead of whining about it, they threw Me a party. That first Thanksgiving just honored Me so much, and honestly a lot of America has them to thanks when it comes to My loving your nation. With Thanksgiving here again, I wanted to take time to give your American great great grandmothers and grandfathers a shout out, and what better way to do that then by drinking 2 cases of Jones Soda’s Dinner Holiday Packs. I have a pack from this year and a pack from last year, and for fun, I’d like to share My thoughts with you as I take a big gulp of each flavor. Happy Thanksgiving. Forget Me not.

First up, TURKEY & GRAVY SODA, which I’m already a little nervous to try. It looks like watered down gravy. It kinda smells like watered down gravy. I am not nearly as excited about this as I was when I bought the box at Target. I’m sure it can’t be too bad. I pretty much love every flavor of Jones Soda I’ve tried. OUCH! First thoughts, it tasted like stale apple cider, with a hint of caramel. The flavor was surprisingly light, but not something I would ever want to taste again. Let’s see if they get any better.

Next, SWEET POTATO SODA. Now, the problem here is that I am not really a big fan of sweet potatoes to begin with, so the idea of it being a soda is not exciting at all… especially with the taste of “turkey” still in My mouth. Stalling, I’ve decided to give you a quick review of the smell of it… not too bad. Smells like cinnamon. Here goes the taste. Not bad! Again, it has a hint of caramel, but this also tastes more like a cola. I could finish this one. Although it’s color is a burnt orange, I think it tastes like a light brown. Does that make sense? Either way, I feel like this is what a Coke would taste like if you added a shot of caramel grenadine into it. I am now not as nervous to keep trying these sodas.

Ok, next up, we have DINNER ROLL SODA, which looks like a bottle of vinegar. This one sounds pretty safe to Me, so lets get this one out of the way. Smells like Sprite. Here goes… GROSS! Ok, that was the initial reaction, but as the flavor slows down, it’s not quite as rough. It tastes exactly like a Jelly Belly Popcorn jelly bean. Whatever the fake flavor for butter is, that is what this tasted like. The flavor immediately made Me think of a popcorn smelly sticker from the 80’s. Not vomit inducing, and I think I’d be able to finish the bottle.

Next up, we got PEA SODA, which is absolutely terrifying. The color is exactly what it should look like, as if peas were blended up and thrown in with a little water. Smell test – dirty shoe… this is not looking good. Ok, to the lips… woah… not peas! What was that?! Not really super gross, but definitely not the taste of peas. I think I’m going in for another swig. Ok, this one is more odd than bad, but it is still mostly bad. The flavor is like something went really bad to your Ginger Ale, almost like it became stale and flat, yet somehow it kept it’s carbonation. This is sounds worse that it was, but I still have no desire to ever taste that again.

The last of this box set is ANTACID FLAVORED SODA, which is a light pink and reminds Me of chewable baby aspirin, which is a flavor I don’t mind, so I’m going into this one with positive expectations. Smell test – wow, smells just like Pepto Bismol! Suddenly I am not nearly as excited to try this one. Let’s do this… agh! That made Me shake My head all around! Mix Pepto and Spite and you get an idea of what I just tasted. This one is funny gross, and I think this one tastes the closest to the target. Still nothing I’d want to try again, but I’d sure love to watch others sip at it.

Alright, on to Jones Soda Dinner Pack 2005. This one also starts out with a TURKEY & GRAVY SODA, which I am none too excited about other than I can gauge if this whole box has gone stale or not by comparing this nasty soda to the same flavored nasty soda of the first pack. Same color, same smell, but same taste? Here goes… so gross! No fun. That swig makes Me want to cut this out. What’s next?

Alright, now we have WILE HERB STUFFING SODA, which is the soda I have been looking forward to least. I only really enjoy stuffing if I can eat it with a bite of turkey, and the idea of just eating stuffing alone sounds unenjoyable to Me, which makes the thought of a Stuffing Soda sound pretty awful. It looks like lemonade, but I know this will is going to be liquid pain. Ok, I’m stalling. Smell test, smells like Smarties, which is much more exciting to Me than it probably should be. Bottles up, and… ocean water! Worst one! Worst one! OW! I have NO IDEA what that just was, but that was not the taste of herb stuffing! It’s like you mixed salt water, carbonated water, and vinegar together and called it herb stuffing. So gross. Now I’m a little angry. Let’s hope the next flavor is some sort of apple side dish.

No good. Next up is BRUSSELS SPROUT SODA. I checked to see what the bottles were after this one, and they look like much happier options. If I can get past this one, I am home free. It looks like lime soda, and I’m trying to hurry so I can wash that herb crap off of My pallet. Smells like butter, oh no. No time to waste, to the lips… NO!!!! So much butter! It’s like I just drank a gulp of butter! Sick! Green bean butter! That was really rich! I’m starting to feel sick. Next.

CRANBERRY SODA, thank Me! The color is a dark red. Smells like cranberry juice. Tastes like… cranberry soda! Thank, Me! I want to finish this one right now. But I’ll try the last bottle and if I need to, I’ll come back to this one. So far, this is the only one I’d actually buy and drink as if it were a normal soda.

Finally, the last bottle… PUMPKIN PIE SODA. I’m sure this one will be fine. It’s a little more orange than I would like it to look, but it still looks fine. Smells like a spicy candle, and tastes like… sugary watered down Coke. Not good. I have no clue why they thought this would taste like pumpkin, but it doesn’t at all. Definitely not good! I’m off to the cranberry soda again, not that I want more soda as much as I really need this taste out of My mouth. Honestly, the cranberry doesn’t even taste that good right now, but maybe I just really messed up My taste buds and they need a break.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Woody and Billy

I just got an email pointing Me to this fun Youtube link. Billy Graham being interviewed by Woody Allen. Two fun people with clearly different takes on who I am. Interesting. The video is in 2 parts.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

St. Peter The Comic Loves Arthur Curry

I’ll tell you what, there are few people funnier than My man Peter. There are lots of different things people usually call Peter before they call him “Pure Comedy”, but he sure was. For example, he used to fish nude. Might not sound too funny to you, but the rest of us would just cry laughing at him jumping around the boat, pulling up nets of fish, wearing nothing but what My Daddy gave him. Once, there was the lady who has super bad menstrual problems for like 12 years, and she hunted Me down thinking that if she touched Me, then maybe her situation would heal up. So, when she finds Me, we all happen to be in this huge crowd of people and she sneaks up and touches the bottom of shirt. Of course, she’s instantly healed, but I decide to call her out on it, so I jump around and start yelling “who touched Me?!”, with the hope that she will fess up and we can have pleasant conversation about her being better. But Peter, he doesn’t know that I know somebody just got healed by touching Me, and we are all totally surrounded by tons of people, so when he sees Me all of the sudden freaking out screaming that somebody just touched Me while we are so close to so many people that it would seem pretty obvious that lots of people have probably just touched Me… Peter starts freaking out and being all PR-like and saying “Whoa, Jesus, calm down. Lot’s of people touched you.” But I know that this lady knows what she did and I want her to fess up, so I keep screaming “Who touched Me?!”, which is clearly totally embarrassing Peter to the point of shock. He starts literally grabbing onto Me, trying to calm Me down like he thought I was about to start punching people, when all of the sudden this lady was all like “It was me. Sorry I touched you. I’ve been sick. Now I’m better” etcetera, etcetera. Peter then stares at her than back at Me like this is crazier than the whole fish and bread incident, which makes Me laugh and him just smile at Me while his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head. Anyway, the funny part is that, later that night, Peter reenacted this whole scene, playing the parts of himself, Me, and the random sick woman. He did this whole routine by the fire for the rest of the guys, and I swear it was one of the funniest chunks of comedy your world has ever seen. He would do all our voices and his version of how this lady talked was not only spot on, but it was this weird cackle that was comedy gold. And when he would do the “Who touched Me?!” part, seriously we could not stop laughing. All of us were just balled up in little convulsing heaps by the fire, crying ‘til it hurt so bad. He totally embellished Me, of course, but that is what made it just out of this world. Peter had a gift. Anyway, Peter was really into fishing and to kill time on the boat, I would sometimes tell him stories about Aquaman. Because I know everything, I’ve always been able to pull stuff from the future and talk about it before it actually happens. I used to do this all the time regarding My whole dying but them coming back situation. How about that little “pick up your cross and follow Me” bit, huh? The foreshadowing is funny now, once the disciples realized I did have to pick up My cross. So, I would tell them stories from the future sometimes without telling them they were necessarily stories from the future, and I would always talk to Peter about Aquaman. The idea of a guy who could talk to fish was a pretty cool idea to Peter, and he would always want to hear another story about him. His favorite was the story about how Aquaman lost his hand and had to replace it with a hook, but I added a bit of Star Wars into it as well so that his hand was actually taken off by his father. You had to be there but it made for a good parable at the time.

Anyway, somebody emailed Me a link to this little McSweeneys essay written from the point of view of if Aquaman addressed people regarding his current not so great image in 21century pop culture. This instantly reminded Me of Peter. Not only did Peter love Aquaman, but when I first starting hanging out with him, his humor definitely leaned on the more raunchy side. So, if reading a short essay from a ranting and cussing Aquaman sounds like a good time to you, be sure to check out this bit of creative fun over at McSweeneys. I’m actually seeing Peter later today, so I’ll show this to him, too. He’s not quite as racy as he was, but he still enjoys Aquaman (although he thinks that the current run with Kurt Busiek is pretty lame). I’m starting to ramble now, so I’ll sign off. Fun to reminisce though, and if you ever are out fishing with some friends and things are starting to get a little dull, take off your clothes. Trust Me, that joke is a classic.

While writing this, I've been blaring the classic Goblin 70's Italian prog rock song "Aquaman" over Heaven's loud speakers. Killer song. Enjoy it. If you don't know much about Goblin, check this song out. It's from the classic 70's album "Roller", which is worth buying even though it can be pricey.

Goblin - Aquaman.mp3

And now, via Youtube, one of the more odd things I've seen in awhile. Below is a cartoon of Aquaman hosting a bad talk show somewhere in Latin America. If you enjoy, be sure to track down part two of the same episode.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Why’d It Have To Be Snakes?

Ok, just to get this on the record, I, Jesus Christ, officially say… quit doing this. Feel free to go ahead and make that official scripture. Just tag that onto the end of the beatitudes or something.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Providence Vs. Petition Vs. The Death Of Jason Todd

Time to get all "Dear Abby" on you guys. I want to say something to an anonymous commenter I received on an earlier post. Two separate topics that had questions were brought up, and the first comment was as follows:

"What is the relationship between providence and petitionary prayer? I mean, if you are unchanging, then how do our prayers change you?"

My anonymously Beloved, your world and your life are a lot like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but where the finale is set in stone. Feel free to follow your own path through your book or feel free to attempt to follow a path where I might be leaving you bread crumbs. One path is not necessarily easier than the other, but if you follow the one which you think I’m leading… well, that shows Me that you care about Me and I really love it when you show Me that you and I are in a relationship. I’m unchanging, but you aren’t. You keep begging Me for stuff that I don’t think you should get, I might just throw your way just because your constant nagging is kinda cute and I love you. Granted, it might not go too well once you get it, but if My kid wants some bubblegum, it’s hard to say no sometimes. However, none of this affects My big plan. There are millions of routes which people can follow, but no matter what happens to you or the world, they all lead back to Me. And don’t forget, the main character in your Choose Your Own Adventure story isn’t you.

The second question the anonymous person left as a comment is as follows:

"I have a situation I could use a little advice on. In my church there was a lady who has a son that was terminally ill. He had cancer. She and the church prayed for him and he was in fact healed. The doctors don't know what to think. Perhaps you saw it in the press. That is if you read the Durham press. Anyway, the thing is there is another family in my church who had a son with a different cancer that died a few weeks ago. What should I tell the parents of the son who died about you? Why heal one and let another die? It just doesn’t make much sense to me. I know you have a plan, but what about the parents whose son died. What do I say??"

First of all, try to steer clear from saying anything other than “sorry”. You don’t need to say anything profound to them, so don’t try to. They need to be loved, and you can do that by honoring how they like to be cared for. Your love is seen in your actions, not just through words. As to the “why?”, well, that’s just how I roll. There’s sin in the world and it will affect everyone down there. Some will be affected different than others. As to why heal one vs. why not the other… it’ll make more sense to you when you get up here and I can show you the big picture. Butterfly wings can indeed eventually cause hurricanes, and the orchestration of humanity is part Miles Davis and part Devine Intervention. Bad things happen to good people who I love and will continue to happen to good people who I love until your world is done and gone. Blame a fruit, but then move past it and just know that I know what I’m doing up here and that it will all make sense to you soon enough. In the meantime, love Me and love your neighbor, and it’ll all work out. I am madly in love with both of those families, and seeing them struggling is hard. But the problem isn’t sickness, healings, or death. Those are just symptoms to a problem that I’ve already cured, it sometimes just takes a bit of time and faith before the miracle drug works its magic.

This answer too sappy for you? I originally wanted to answer this by comparing your story to how DC decided to let the fans decide if Robin #2 should get the axe or not via pay toll phone voting and then making some sort of joke as to how I do the same thing with angels voting to see who gets cancer or not. As you can see, this joke might not seem be too fitting for your question, so I decided against it. Do not, however, think that this idea was indeed too much. I, being the Son of Man, have a perfect sense of humor and thus could knock you dead simply by telling you a joke that is simply so hilarious that the amount of laughter you exude would cause your heart to explode… not that I would do that (but I could, so watch out). So, if you don’t think this would have been a witty response to the above question, that is simply because Earthly sin has shaken up your since of true comic genius. Other proof of this can be seen in the success of Larry The Cable Guy and Mad TV. Seriously though, wiki-search Job.

Got a question for the Son of Man? Drop Me and line and maybe I’ll answer it via My holy blog… or maybe I’ll answer it some other way, you never really can tell with Me. I’m sneaky.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

How To Make A Mix Tape For Chuck Klosterman

Let’s say that pop culture essayist Chuck Klosterman just bought a 1986 Oldsmobile. Chuck Klosterman decides he wants to keep the original radio and tape deck instead of putting in something updated. Let’s also say that Chuck Klosterman hates iPods and decides he would rather listen to cassette tapes than mp3s through the radio.

Now let’s say that you and Chuck Klosterman are friends. One night while you, Chuck Klosterman, and some other friends are hanging out, Chuck Klosterman asks each of you to make him a mix tape. You, music snob that you are, want to make Chuck Klosterman the best mix tape of all the tapes he is about to get. Your hope is that, of all the different tapes his friends make him, your mix tape is the one Chuck Klosterman most often wants to play while driving to some rocker’s suicide location or wherever else Chuck likes to drive, and later congratulates you for making him such an amazing mix tape.

So, how do you make a successful mix tape for Chuck Klosterman? After all, this guy most definitely knows more about music than you, and just making a mix of 80’s power ballads might seem cute, but you know you need to do better than that in order to capture the attention of Chuck Klosterman. So, what do you do? Luckily, I am God’s kid, and therefore know everything, and I’ve decided to help you out. So, if you are indeed friends with Chuck Klosterman and he does one day ask you for a mix tape… this is what you need to do in order to make Chuck Klosterman an amazing mix tape.

Track 1: Start Chuck Klosterman out with an attention grabber that becomes a light reoccurring theme

Some might think it would be best to start with something mellow and simple first, then move into something a little louder. They would be wrong. This is Chuck Klosterman you are making a mix for, not some random person you want to make out with. Your mix might only get one chance in his Oldsmobile tape deck, so you need to make these first few minutes count. This intro needs to be something he will want to rewind and listen to again. This intro needs to be something that, when Chuck Klosterman has a friend in his car, he will say to that friend, “I’ve got something on a mix tape that you have got to hear, fuck” (not Jesus cussing, that would be Jesus quoting Chuck Klosterman cussing. Jesus thinks cussing is a sin and Jesus doesn’t sin. Chuck Klosterman is a sinner and by habit, cusses often. Jesus does kinda hold this against him, but only because it’s a sin and Jesus considers sin to be something pretty serious, however not too serious that the death of Jesus doesn’t take care of it, so if Chuck Klosterman asks Me for forgiveness, I’ll hook him up. So back off him and think about your own sins you need forgiven from, sinner). The best example for an intro would be a fun and wild quote or sound byte that Chuck Klosterman would find amusing. If you know how to turn streaming video into mp3 and then format that to cassette, you could lead the tape off with some sound bytes that you cut and pasted together from a Chuck Klosterman interview with Bill Maher found on any of Chuck Klosterman’s book pages on The interview is awkward and many of the quotes would sound entertaining if taken out of context. You could then intersperse a few of these random quotes throughout the mix tape, making sure the best quote is used to intro the mix tape and the others are interspersed lightly in-between every 5 songs. Another option that would require less work would be to make a Sasquatch themed mix tape, starting with a possible Sasquatch sighting 911 call and then interspersing short audio clippings of possible Sasquatch howls… all of which are easily retrievable by searching “Sasquatch howls and 911 call mp3s” in Google.

Track 2: Hit Chuck Klosterman with a great rock song he might not already know.

This is difficult to do. Chuck Klosterman clearly loves music and spends much of his day thinking and talking about music, so coming up with something he doesn’t know will be difficult. But I never said this mix tape for Chuck Klosterman would be easy. Your best hope here is to try to beat him to the punch. This is where your music blog surfing skills will come into play. Chuck Klosterman simply doesn’t have the time to listen to every single rock and roll song that some random blog thinks is the next Pixies meets Pavement dashed with some Wilco to give it that Americana but still rockin’ feel. This is where you can swoop in and make your move. The blogs started bragging about Gnarles Barkley in December of 2005, and it didn’t start getting heavy radio play until 6 months later. So, you need to troll through the blogs looking for the next Tapes ‘n Tapes via last February and not Tapes n’ Tapes via now. You need a great song by a band only 3 other people in America know about, and you need to make sure this mix gets into his hands before this band has the number 3 most downloaded track on Hype Machine. This song has to be more than just fresh sounding, this song has to be ripe sounding... like so ripe that Rolling Stone labels them a “Band To Watch” in their March 2008 issue. Again, this will be very difficult and few are up to the task of downloading so many mp3s and rummaging through them like a comic geek at a flea market. This song is out there, and if you have the time and courage, you can find it. Only then will Chuck Klosterman enjoy your mix enough to praise it.

Track 3: Hit Chuck Klosterman with a great rock song he might have heard from a band he might know, but hopefully overlooked

This is also quite difficult. Here is where you delve into the back catalog of a band and try to find an overlooked nugget of gold. Perhaps from a B-side, a movie soundtrack throwaway, or an odd “Peace in the Middle East” fundraising compilation… or maybe it’s a song that was on a hugely successful album seemed overshadowed by the rest of the album, this song has to shock Chuck Klosterman in a way that makes him surprised he didn’t know how great this random song is. Even riskier, but with possibly greater pay back, you can attempt to put a song on that Chuck Klosterman might have overlooked by a band he has never really loved. A perfect example would be older R.E.M. Everyone already has an opinion on R.E.M. and Chuck Klosterman is no different, but one is less likely to fast forward a mix tape as it is to skip with a mix CD, so if R.E.M. was on his mix tape, he might give this one song by them one more chance, so make sure to choose wisely. I would suggest a rockier non-single number of theirs from the IRS years, such as “Just A Touch” off of Lifes Rich Pageant or “Life And How To Live It” from Fables Of the Reconstruction. Stay away from bands that are too popular with music snobs, such as Radiohead or Beck, but don’t dig too deep and put on a song from Neutral Milk Hotel that isn’t on Areoplane or Avery Island. I don’t care how great you think “Little Birds” is, it is not worthy of Chuck Klosterman’s time. Finding the right song here is scary, but follow your heart and take a risk… and if you choose wisely, you will still have the attention of Chuck Klosterman.

Track 4: Hit Chuck Klosterman with a not too cheesy novelty song

This track is to recover from any damage your last risky attempt to entertain Chuck Klosterman might have made. Although this sounds like a throwaway song, picking the right novelty song that isn’t too cheesy is not nearly as simple as it sounds. For example, nothing by “Weird” Al or anything already deemed novelty by the Dr. Demento type crowd. Again, you have to dig below the surface of novelty in order to entertain Chuck Klosterman. You know that Chuck Klosterman has a deep love for heavy metal, so you also can’t simply throw on some old Twisted Sister and think it’s cute because that is borderline insulting to Chuck Klosterman. Your best bet here would be to foreign language cover of a song that he already knows. For example, “We’re Not Going To Take It” is not a smart move, but “Nosotros No Lo Tomaremos” would be genius. Another option would be finding great 80’s heavy metal from other countries, such as the hugely popular Asian J Rock force known as X Japan. Chuck Klosterman would absolutely fall in love with the song “Rusty Nail” by X Japan. Also, it is fact and possibly scripture that you can never go wrong by putting a Ween song on a mix tape for novelty purposes. If you did not know this, perhaps you shouldn’t be trying to make an amazing mix for Chuck Klosterman.

Track 5: Hit Chuck Klosterman with a beautiful ballad.

Again, this is not nearly as easy as it sounds. You can not simply throw “When The Children Cry” by White Lion on this mix tape and think you’ve scored a ballad hit with Chuck Klosterman. The 80’s ballads are clichéd and by placing and 80’s ballad on a mix tape for Chuck Klosterman is beyond condescending. However, going the complete opposite and finding a rare gem by Kristin Hersh isn’t going to cover it either. This ballad has to be as non-cheesy as possible, especially since it follows a novelty song. You might not consider Kristin Hersh to be cheesy, but this is Chuck Klosterman we are talking about and if he even thinks she is slightly cheesy, that would make this song following that last novelty song simply too much for Chuck Klosterman to take and he will eject your tape and possibly not even finish the whole 90 minute mix tape that you worked so hard to win him over with. This ballad has to ooze not only cool but a fragile beauty that might cause Chuck Klosterman to get emotional. To do this, you have three options. You can go with a ballad hit that you know Chuck Klosterman has already purchased more than once, but hope it is simply so good that he will like it on there anyway. A lesser hyped Rolling Stones or Beatles song could both work. The second option is to go with a ballad he might not know, but should, such as “10:20AM” by Spoon or “The Trapeze Swinger” by Iron And Wine, although that song too is a risk due to its length. The third option which is almost too dangerous to mention would be to pick the perfect ballad from a band Chuck Klosterman most definitely would despise, with the hope that the ballad is so good that it surprises Chuck Klosterman that this song was actually written by the band. This is practically impossible and I only put this on the list to be thorough. For example, if you could find a ballad by Barenaked Ladies or Toad The Wet Sprocket that is so heartbreaking that Chuck Klosterman might actually forgive the song from being performed by the said performer. The bands used in that example do not have actual ballads that would impress Chuck Klosterman, but bands of their caliber would be fascinating to Chuck Klosterman if you could find a ballad that could affect him emotionally.

Track 6 through the end of the mix tape: Repeat the above steps until the 90 minutes are up.

By keeping to the pattern of odd audio to break things up, the cool rock song, the random rock song, the overlooked song, the novelty song, and the ballad, you should be able to entertain Chuck Klosterman with your mix tape, as long as you have the heart, determination, and the gift of picking perfect songs. As Chuck Klosterman would attest, very few have this possibly spiritual gift, and it can be argued that it is not learned but inherited. Many have tried to impress Chuck Klosterman with their music tastes, but few can figure out the Pandora’s box that lies in his rock and roll heart.

Finishing Touches:

You might want to put a personalized finishing touch on the mix tape. Something at the very end of side 2, when all the songs are over. Recording yourself saying a little something directly to Chuck Klosterman would show him that you were in it to win it and you pulled every trick you know in order to keep his attention for 90 minutes. This recorded message from you to Chuck Klosterman should not be too heart felt or serious, just a simple fun shout out, such as “Chuck Klosterman is a Ninja Killa!” or “Hey Chuck Klosterman, Deez Nuts!” This playful ending will make Chuck Klosterman smile, like a nice dessert after a meal. And in regards to mix tape cassette case art, stay away! Chuck Klosterman would be wierded out if he could immediately tell by looking at your mix tape that you are really trying hard to impress him.

Somewhere between Kiss and Beyonce lie Billy Joel and Def Leppard, all music that at one time or another has won over the hardened heart of Chuck Klosterman. Steer through those waters if you dare, and with Me by your side, you just might make Chuck Klosterman a mix tape that he will love, but I doubt it. Good luck.


X Japan - Rusty Nail.mp3
Possible Sasquatch Sighting 911 Call.mp3
Possible Ohio Sasquatch Howl.mp3
Possible Sierra Nevada Sasquatch Howl.mp3
Possible Mississippi Sasquatch Howl.mp3

Special thanks to The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization for sharing all those wonderful possible Sasquatch audio files. Find out more about Sasquatches at their site,