Thursday, October 26, 2006

Shins Album Review Drinking Game


I drink alcohol. I like alcohol. If a party is running low on alcohol, I make more alcohol. It tastes really good. Alcohol is a gift from God. Granted, back in My day, you drank either wine or grainy sand water… but even with all the different drinks out there today, wine is pretty special. However, I’m not too keen on drunkenness, so try to drink in moderation people. Some people might tell you that friends of Mine should be above reproach, and this is true, but drinking alcohol is not a sin. Drinking alcohol with little flakes of gold in it, however, that’s a sin.

That being said, it’s time for the Shins Album Review Drinking Game, the game where you have to drink a beer when you find any of the following in a Shins album review. The blogs are full of Shins album reviews now, and a lot of things from the list below can be found in those reviews, so if you want to stay above reproach, you might not want to play the Shins Album Review Drinking Game. Here we go!

01. If the Shins Album Review mentions Natalie Portman, Zach Braff, or The Garden State, drink 1 beer.

02. If the Shins Album Review mentions the 3 album old song “New Slang”, drink 1 beer.

03. If the Shins Album Review mentions some sort of embarrassment for liking the new album, drink 1 beer.


04. If the Shins Album Review uses any type of term that makes the band sound hugely popular or successful, such as “the indie darlings” or “giants”, drink 1 beer.

05. If the Shins Album Review wrestles with the possibility that the band is trying to sell more albums or sell out, drink 1 beer.

06. If the Shins Album Review references the band clearly trying to evolve on this album, drink 1 beer.

07. If the Shins Album Review mentions their possibly boring stage shows, drink 1 beer.


08. If the Shins Album Review compares the new album to their attempt to sound like some other artist other than themselves, drink 1 beer.


09. If the Shins Album Review mentions whether or not the author thinks this album will make their top 10 albums of the year list, drink 1 beer.

10. And finally, if the Shins Album Review ends by giving the album a cautiously positive review, drink 3 beers.


Special thanks goes to Stereogum for pointing the way to the hilarious blog post regarding the Pitchfork music review drinking game, that inspired this post. The new Shins album is great, Ms. Portman will love it, there’s nothing quite as good as “New Slang” on it, and it’s surprising how much I actually like what these indie giants are putting out, although they are clearly trying to sell as many albums as possible by evolving into more of a Weezer sound, if their concerts could be as wild as Weezer, they might be able to make some money, so all in all, the new album is actually pretty good but it’s no Grizzly Bear or TV On the Radio, and it won’t be nearly as high as those two albums on My top 10 albums of 2006.

25 Comments:

At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOLZ!!!

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At 4:18 AM, Blogger Son of a Gun said...

I suppose I should be dead drunk after reading this post... Who are these Shins anyway?

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger trevor said...

Hey Jesus!

I think I'll pass on The Shins...and their drinking game.

But someone you should really check out is The Black Heart Procession. They kick The Shins' asses.

Peace.

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger c said...

way to go jesus. i am so drunk right now. (from your album review). but am i maybe going to hell for stealing this album off the internetz?

 
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