Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Jesus Answers

From time to time, I get questions asked to Me via email or in the comments after a post. Here’s a few I’ve decided to answer here on My holy blog.

Question #1 Jebus, what do you think of the new Thermals album? You’re mentioned in it a lot.

Jesus Answers #1 I think it’s pretty fascinating. It is further proof that Christians are not first known for their love. The songs are catchy and the lyrics are rough. It’s getting compared to Green Day’s “American Idiot”, which I honestly think is a far superior album, but the Thermals album is definitely in My current iPod album rotation. Politics and religion mix about as well as oil and linking verbs.

Question #2 Why wouldn't God lift a finger to protect the most vulnerable children? Did JonBenet, Polly Klass and many have to suffer like that? Is He omnipotent or impotent?

Jesus Answer #2 I am protecting children. Trust Me, your news could look a lot worse. I love children and more people sense Me though them than any other tool I use to show people shadows of Myself. Unfortunately, Satan isn’t a fan of kids. Humanity was given the choice of making Me the center of their universe or making themselves the center of their universe. Unfortunately, people would rather worship themselves than Me. With that decision comes repercussions that lead to a lot of bad decisions. For example, “I know killing little kids is wrong, but I really want to do that.” When people think they are the most important thing in the universe, people can justify anything they want. That’s a cause of sin, which is like a disease they caught when they decided to figure life out without Me. I’m sorry you have to live in a world so screwed up where kids are murdered. That wasn’t the original plan.

Question #3 Don't you heal people anymore? Sure, I know, when we get to heaven there will not be any sickness, but what about right now? Can you not heal things anymore or are you just going to let our bodies rot and save our souls? That’s one of the things I just don’t get about the Bible. I mean whatever happened to if you ask for something in your name then it will be given unto you? Have you read Christian Reflections by C.S. Lewis? He asks some questions that deserve an answer. If I want to be healed and I have faith and pray for healing, why won't you heal me? Please don't use the answer of it's for your own good and it will all work out in the end? You didn’t use that answer when you were here on earth so please don’t use it now.

Jesus Answers #3 I heal people all the time. A lot of stuff that went down back in the day still go down now. Demons are everywhere. They didn’t die out like the way of the dinosaur… if dinosaurs even existed (joke). I’m still healing every day. In fact, I’ve healed you many times already. I love you. I’m taking care of you.

Now, in regards to this specific question, “If I want to be healed and I have faith and pray for healing, why won't you heal me?” Great question.

Let’s say you really want a quarter really bad to buy some gum. So you ask Me, “Hey God, can I have a quarter for some gum?” Now, because I love you so much, I’ll do one more than giving you a quarter for gum. Here, I want you to own the Fruit Stripe Gum company. Here’s the keys. You’re the Fruit Gum President. Pulling a quarter out of your ear is a poor mans parlor trick. Take the a stroll through your gum factory and dive into your vats of flavor.

Did I answer your question? Probably. Do you want a blunter answer? Probably. Faith moves mountains and you are tapped into that power, so don’t give up hope. You will be healed, just maybe not how you think you need it. I love you and I don’t like seeing you upset. Look around and let Me show you your gum factory.

And asking Jesus Christ if He’s read C.S. Lewis is like asking Conor Oberst if he’s listened to Bob Dylan.

Question #4

Jesus Answers #4 Short answer… maybe some of you. Long answer… not most of you. Start debating over how to best love a nation that thinks Christians are close minded bigots who love war and money. Love comes first.

So, what words come to mind before the word “love” when you think of people who say they follow Me? Feel free to make a list in the comments. What’s the first thing that comes to mind in order to finish the following sentence? “Christians are most commonly known for their…”


At 11:39 PM, Blogger Space Cadet 'R' said...

If I believe that an invisible pink dragon lives in my garage and grants me wishes, but only the wishes that are in accordance with His will or in ways that are empiricly impossible to discern from random occurances -- exactly what good is the dragon at all? A person could go their entire believing or disbelieving in the dragon, and any difference in the quality of their living would be imperceptible. What good then is the dragon?

At 9:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Microsoft Office
Office 2010
Microsoft Office 2010
Office 2010 key
Office 2010 download
Office 2010 Professional
Microsoft outlook
Outlook 2010
Windows 7
Microsoft outlook 2010


Post a Comment

<< Home