I Was Guided By Voices

Up here, we like to put together little film montages of your day. We clip together some of your Best Of video, then put it to music, and we all sit around and watch it. Lately, we’ve been adding some Guided By Voices as the soundtrack to these flicks, and surprisingly, lead singer Robert Pollard sounds a lot like Me. So, I brushed off My Guided By Voices vinyls and wrote down all the Bob quotes that I never said, but almost could have. Without further ado, here’s My list of Guided By Voices quotes that sound an awful lot like Yours Truly, Jesus Christ…



Time to say to you, My child,
Your name is Wild.
And if you called Me into change the color,
your name is Wild,
and I’ll be taking you soon now.

Hooray for the day!
I’ll pay the angels to keep you, My child.
You are safer now.
God knows it, too.

- Your Name Is Wild



Let's throw the great party,
today for the rest of our lives.
The fun is just about to get started,
so throw the switch,
It's rock-n-roll time.

- Over the Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox



Of course I'm not complaining,
I'm simply dying.
Yes, I'm waiting.
Got a good love left,
Good Lord willing.

- Some Drilling Implied



I’ll be with you, without you, again.
Turn and run, the angel's calling.
You say when and I say I’m falling.

- Hardcore UFO’s



Man of wisdom, and man of compromise,
man of weak flesh in an armored disguise,
all fall down.

- Echos Myron



Demons are real.
They are standing still

- Demons Are Real



I am a pharmacist.
Prescriptions I will fill you.
Potions, pills, and medicines
to ease your painful lives.

- I Am A Scientist



I’m a human costume
with veins of gold.
I’ll face the punching bag,
do what I’m told.

- Do The Earth



Brothers, do not fret,
the bus will get you there yet
to carry us to the lake.
The club is open.
Yeah, The club is open.
I am breathing, yet I feel no sky.
Things without wings have begun to fly.

Brothers, sisters, all transistors, you know
Father Logic sometimes gets cosmic, you know.

- A Salty Salute



Watch Me jumpstart as the old skin is peeled.
See an opening and bust into the field.
Hidden longings no longer concealed.
Watch Me bulldoze every bulldozer away,
each new obstacle from each old new day.

- Watch Me Jumpstart



The perfect angels
who monitor your intentions,
God keeps his famous children,
be respectable.

- (I Wanna Be a) Dumbcharger



Everything I think about I think about,
everything I talk about I talk about with you.
But you don't know what I go through.
You don't know.
Days, they will turn into nights,
but My valuable hunting knife,
it will not rust through the tears,
and it will not lose its appeal over years.
Come on!

- My Valuable Hunting Knife



It's up to You and Me,
My faithful Sin-Eater,
to give them a glorious lightbath.

- Burning Flag Birthday Suit



You won't see Me turn My back
with My head against My stack,
spitting teeth and breaking open skin.
Official Ironmen, you are free.
Champions officially.

- The Official Ironmen Rally Song



A question to the lunatic-
Does your day seem like night?
Does your world go together?

- To Remake The Young Flyer



I see it as paying the price.
Nobody feels it these days.
Well, I'd like to go and kiss them away.
Well, I'd like to know another way.

- Redmen And Their Wives



And if there's a Hell below,
Kenneth Ray ain't gonna go.

- Expecting Brainchild



My coats are blue,
but My visions are white,
aren't they?

- Superior Sector Janitor X



Push Me now beyond the bounds
of healing hands and thorny crowns,
and all the sadness it implies
I've tasted with My own two eyes.

- Dusted



Hush now seedling,
don't you cry.
Maybe I'll be coming home
quite soon for you,
quite sinful you.

- Jar of Cardinals



This is not reality,
this is just formality.
The cup is only being filled
for a chance to have it spilled.
Flowing, just like the days.
Sailing, just like the days.

- Wondering Boy Poet



God rolls the sun
as He walks down the highway.
I have kissed you, you will leave.
And the friction in the morning,
the friction 'round suppertime
can't hear the revolution.

- Can't hear the revolution



Don't strip off My bark.
I have been stripped of it before.
Yesterday's gone
and tomorrow has so much more in store.
You are a bird,
you're taking off in every way.

So climb up My trunk
and build on your nest.
Come,
and get the sap out if Me.
I am a tree.

- I Am A Tree



Blessed is the way to a man’s heart

- Mag Earwhig!



You leave Me in stitches.
I hear you singing the spiritual getaway,
yearning to hike away
from hurt and spiny things
who use you for their practice
and settlements.
Permanent holy wars dissolve
and crash on the red horizon.

- In Stitches



Now I'm going home.
In the distance, I can see them,
proudly waving flags
to separate and free them.
Dragons Awake!
Forever and ever,
for everyone to see!
Amen.

- Dragons Awake!



An unmarketed product
is shining clear for many years.
The time it takes you to put up,
shut out the fears for many years.

Well, I can give you credit,
suitable and custom tailored,
and if you have any luck
you'll get ahead before you're dead.

- An Unmarked Product



I want to reinvent you now.
Reinvent you nightly.
Reinvite you rightly.
I'll reunite you.

- Skills Like This



I have a positive hot gift.
Want one?
Living the dream
of kings before children.
Come inside,
I'll show you a ticket to sugar pie.
Yeah... a lesson before you die.

- Want One?



With the sinking of the sun,
I've come to greet you.
Clean your hands and go to sleep.
Confess the dreams
of good and bad men all around.
Some are lost
and some have found
the light that passes though Me.

- Glad Girls



The cup is running over.
I am hypnotizing the highway.
I am baptizing mad rivers.
And the rivers run wild,
and the highway is long.
It was so good to see you.
You know that for I tell you.

- Fine To See You



Is it good for you
to ask for assistance
and to ask for it for others, also?
Next time you get sick, you'll know.
You might even see.

- Zap



Sometimes I cry
because you don't love Me no more.
And sometimes I'm dyin',
I'd be lyin' if I tried to ignore
the hurtin' inside
that started when you walked away.

- Sometimes I Cry



Change has got to come
and I'll be the first to admit it.
When pushin' comes to shovin'
I'll be the first one to get it.
Don't you understand anything?
You won't like it at all
when the fire that burns
in the predator's eyes
takes another disguise
with a different face
and it all gets down
to the people in our town.
They don't wanna be found
in the other place.

- The Other Place



So, God bless you.
Continue to speak.

- Father Sgt. Christmas Card


If that ain' enough GBV for you, then please do yourself a favor and check out this unintentionally HILARIOUS Guided By Voices site over at guidedbyvoices.net. I'd pay big bucks for a GBV T-Shirt with some of these images.