Open Love Letter To Of Montreal's Kevin Barnes

“Guess it would be nice to give my heart to a god
but which one which one do I choose?
All the churches fill with losers, psychos, or confused.
I just want to hold the divine in mine.”

- Of Montreal’s Gronlandic Edit


Dear Kevin Barnes,

It would be an honor for you to consider Me in the running for the God To Whom You Might Give Your Heart. I am madly in love with you. Your music is inspiring. I sometimes come to your shows as a human and annoyingly yell “Play ‘You Are An Airplane!’” I understand that there are many options out there which would happily take your heart, however, if you choose Me, I promise to give you life and life to the fullest. I agree that most churches are filled with people who clearly do not seem to be actually following Me, which unfortunately is what the definition of a Christian should be… “Christ follower.” Thus, it would seem that the church is indeed filled with losers, psychos, and the confused. However, not all are that way, and if you seek Me out, I ensure you that there are others like you and there is a church for you that you would be able to truly worship Me without the hindrance of people claiming to follow Me but clearly not putting those “beliefs” into action. I love you Kevin Barnes. Your music means so much to Me and the new album is unbelievable. You've got a gift. Thank you for the music. So, if you kindly could keep Me on your list of possible Gods that might one day guard your heart, I would love the honor… and the Divine wants to hold you, too.

I love you,
Jesus Christ

PS. The hindu god sux! Take that one off your list.
PPS. Some of the angels miss hearing Cherry Peel stuff live.
PPPS. I'm cool with whatever. I go to your shows to dance.