Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Comics, Vampires, and the Lost season finale

As many of you can easily tell by reading those popular books about Me (insert “DaVinci Code” jokes here), I am a big fan of comic books! Hitting a comic shop every Wednesday is a habit of Mine, and since where I come from money actually does grow on trees, spending 3 bucks on 10 minutes of entertainment isn’t a stretch. I usually stick with the main big boys of comics, but every now and then I pick up something more random. One thing that is becoming more and more common these days are comics where Me or My Dad have a supporting or starring role. I usually steer clear from these because it seems a little gimmicky and I hate it when people make up a fictitious version of Me just to make a point. Very annoying, and some might even argue blasphemous. I’m strongly against blaspheming…. blaspheming and the Dixie Chicks purposely stirring up two year old controversy about them that most of the world already forgot about. So, for the record (and this is probably already on the record somewhere) I, Jesus Christ the Son Of God, am against blaspheming and the new Dixie Chicks album, no matter what Rolling Stone wants Me to believe (think Pitchfork will like it?). Please feel free to quote that last sentence. Put it on signs and hold it up at baseball games.
Back to My point… and there originally was a point to that last paragraph, which is this... I usually stay clear from comics that have Me as a character because they are usually a little too cheesy for my comic loving tastes… but all that changed today. Why, you ask? Because I found the best idea for a comic ever (see photo below)!

That's the front of the comic cover. Sorry for the flash glare. That's a vampire bite on My neck if you couldn't tell. Now, check out the back cover!

That’s right! Best comic idea ever! Many of you have wondered, and I know this is true because I know all your thoughts, what WOULD Jesus do if vampires attacked the world? Well, now your questions can be answered, because this comic plays out almost EXACTLY how I would actually react to a massive vampire outbreak! Actually, I haven’t read it yet, and I’m guessing this will be just about as gimmicky as the normal “Jesus as a silly pop culture” character, but how about that cover! Or, how about that cover price?! Worth it!

Which brings Me to My next topic. Many of you have been wondering, what is Sawyer from “Lost” was a vampire? What would Sawyer look like? Well, lucky for you, the dude who plays Sawyer just so happened to play a vampire on an episode of the Buffy spin-off “Angel.” Here’s some screen caps I found on an Buffy message board because the Son of Man has waaay too much time on His hands.

And in that classic mental debate of the “Lost” finale Vs. the “American Idol” finale Vs. “Spending Time” with Me… all I can say is, thank Me for Tivos!