Friday, February 17, 2006

Jesus Answers, part 4

Hey gang, Jesus here. I’m really loving this blogging thing. Thanks for visiting. Some of you recently posted some questions for Me. Here’s my replies to you.

Ron Freeman asks – Hey Jesus, it's Ron again. When I was a teenager a lot of people from my church said that predestination meant that we had no freewill. I believed that for awhile til one day I thought "If God is sovereign He can give us freewill if he wants to" That seemed to tick them off but from there I pretty much didn't let it bother me. But now that you have a convenient blog I'll ask you to settle things. What's the deal with predestination vs. freewill vs. some combo of the two?

Ron, it’s confusing but both happen. Really, it’s not worth worrying about because I purposely keep a lot of things a mystery. But if you want it, here goes. I know where you are going to end up in life. If you change the course of that, I can still get you where I want you. It’s kinda like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, where you make up the whole story, but you always get the same last page of the story. Your story ends well, Ron, but I’m letting you figure out how to steer yourself to that final chapter.

Daniel asks - 1. Is it OK to share mp3s? I like the ones you've shared but the RIAA says no. 2. Is it OK not to like Coldplay? 'Cause I never could get into them. 3. Is Jimi Hendrix in heaven?

Daniel, let's take care of questions 2 and 3 quickly… yes to both. Coldplay you do not have to like, but I’d prefer it if you still didn’t make too much fun of them, that’s lazy. Jimi led a terrible life, and didn’t take care of the talent I gave him, but the lucky soul met me when he was a Freshman in high school at a Church Lock-In, and now he’s up here sounding much better than he ever did down there.

As for question number 1, is it ok to share mp3s? Great question! Very tricky, Daniel, very tricky! When I was down there on earth, people all the time tried to trick Me with questions. “Hey Jesus, the law sells we should stone this hooker, but isn’t killing a sin?” “Hey Jesus, healing is good, but did you just work on the Sabbath?” If I said “no”, I was in trouble, but if I said “yes” I was in trouble, too. Very sneaky! So, I would be sneaky right back at them, and because I am God, My sneakiness was perfect. I’d answer their question with another question, and shut them all up. So here goes… Is it ok to share mp3s? Hmmm… is it ok to borrow books for libraries? Stop book sharing! Book sharing will destroy the book publishers.

Did that work? Probably not. Probably not because I was kidding! Ha Ha, perfect humor! If sharing mp3’s is illegal, don’t share them. I might some times, but it is not smart to mimic every little thing I do. Try a lot to be like Me, but not totally like Me. That “What Would Jesus Do?” movement was not too wise, because I was trying to get Myself killed. If people were trying super hard to be like Me, more of you would be getting killed. Be smart. Don’t break the law. Don’t get killed.

Cassandra asks - What do you think about the band Anathallo? They seem to like you a lot.

I love Anathallo kinda like how a human would love a band they have never ever heard of, but I love them a little bit more than that because I’m God. So, I absolutely love Anathallo, and their website makes them seem kinda fun.

Laura asks – Hey JC, what's the deal with this whole noise rock experimental movement that no one is bothered enough to listen to? Is it ever going to completely go away, or are we going to have to be subjected to the occassional Lightning Bolt and Wolf Eyes for the rest of our lives? And oh, why is it that most mainstream bands who sing in the name of you tend know, lack talent?

The cave men experimented with noise rock. There’s nothing new under the sun. Until the end days, some of my Beloved will think loud and weird is the future of music. Some will be right, most will be wrong.

Regarding Christian Mainstream bands not being good, most mainstream stuff isn’t for music fans like you I'm afraid. Most humans don’t want to learn new and possibly more complex music. Give them a hook and a fun chorus and they are fine. For the average Christian, give them a hook, a fun chorus, and name drop something Biblical, and that’s all they need. True music fans like yourself will have to dig deeper to find good stuff that also seems to like Me. It’s out there, but it’s kinda like a treasure hunt. Happy hunting.

Texasinafrica asks - Why don't any good bands come to Africa for their tours? Those of us living in exile are dying here. Thanks for the MP3's!

Africans are not known for their love of North American Indie Rock. If you really think you are dying over there, move back to Texas… or start liking that Paul Simon album with the diamonds on feet.

Mjrc asks - Have you ever heard of Cloud Cult? On their album "Advice from the Happy Hippopotamus" they ask a lot of questions that you could answer for them, like "what comes at the end". And then there's a song about a "transistor radio" that broadcasts messages from grampa, and then there's this song "light at the end of the tunnel". These songs are all right up your alley, if you don't mind my saying so.

Thanks to you, Mjrc, I now love Cloud Cult! Thanks for pointing their way. Kinda reminds me of the Arcade Fire with a little bit of the Violent Femmes. Wow, that sounds really awful! I'm loving it. As far as answering their “What comes at the end” question… I definitely could make that buffalo thing happen for you if you want that.

Got more questions for Jesus? Fire away in the comments section and I’ll answer you in the next couple days.


At 1:19 AM, Anonymous mollie said...

I think You have great taste in music (naturally, since you are God!) and I was wondering if You think I should give Animal Collective a chance. Also, do you have any Oscar picks this year?

At 6:07 PM, Anonymous mjrc said...

Wow, I am humbled beyond humble to get such a grateful shout out from God. You are very, very welcome. We both need to thank Heart on a Stick, because that's where I first encountered the awesome band known as Cloud Cult. I guess it's kind of like spreading the Word, one person at a time . . . .
Oh, and I think You should most definitely tell Mollie to check out Animal Collective. Not that I'm telling You what to do, or anything.

At 12:07 AM, Blogger Janet said...

Dear Abby meets Jesus, I'm saved!

At 4:10 AM, Anonymous J-nel said...

Hey, I think that you should tell people that you are really not Jesus. You are just answering there questions on what you think Jesus would say or on your own thoughts on the questions. I do not want to have people believe that you are Jesus.

At 5:24 PM, Blogger jeremy sawatzky said...

will sufjan stevens ever hold a concert in manitoba, and if so, when will it be?

when will coldplay's next album be released, and will it be any good?

is hell a real place, and if so, how does a person avoid going there? like, that whole, "accept jesus as your personal lord and saviour" deal... does that really work? it always seemed kinda silly to me... but is it legit? or should people focus more on living a good life? lots of christians say that if someone doesnt "accept" jesus, they will go to hell... is that true? and if it is, doesnt it screw most of the world?

do you like my blog?

what do you think about 'the davinci code' book/movie? worthwhile or waste of time?

At 9:22 PM, Anonymous mjrc said...

Hey, I forgot to ask my question before. Here it is: Would it be a sin to go see Cloud Cult on Easter Sunday? It doesn't feel quite right to me, but it's the only day they will be in my area. I am conflicted.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger Ron Freeman said...

oh, I got another question. Did you have a nickname that didn't make the Bible? ya'know, like Bucky or something?

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