Thats Great, It Starts With An Earthquake

END TIMES Alert!

So, what happens when you mix one of the hottest males alive with one of the hottest females alive? Many have been wondering if the child of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt would be the most physically perfect human? Well, I guess they seem to think so, because they seriously… seriously… seriously… (this is difficult for Me to type) they seriously named their baby Shiloh Nouvel. Yep, ladies and gentlemen, that translates into “Messiah New.” Oh crap. Doesn’t it say somewhere that riiiight before I start My big bad comeback scene, little new Messiahs will start popping up everywhere? Well, I guess that you don’t have too much to worry about yet, because so far I think that only makes one person imitating the Son of Man. Yeah, I can’t think of any others… not one. I guess you don’t have too much to worry about then. False alarm.

And if you’re gonna name a kid after somebody cool, I guess you could do worse. Didn’t that guy whose name is Earl name his simple and dumb kid after a Grandaddy song? And there’s probably a good pun somewhere regarding an ex of Mr. Pitt naming her kid “Apple” and the whole “tree of knowledge” thing. If you’re thinking there’s probably not a good pun in there, well I guess you’re not the Son of God, then, are you? …unless you are the new Messiah baby, shoot! Hey Brad, see if that kid can walk on water!

What I’m trying to say is… welcome to the world New Messiah Jolie Pitt! I will bless you a little more than the average, kid, because with a name like that, you’re gonna need it. With humor as ripe as a Vice President shooting a friend in the face, let the jokes begin!