Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Questions From Some Of My Favorite People

How sweet is that picture?!!! Anway, here’s some answers to some questions a few of you have asked Me lately.

Mollie asks - I think You have great taste in music (naturally, since you are God!) and I was wondering if You think I should give Animal Collective a chance. Also, do you have any Oscar picks this year?

Mollie, while I was sewing you together in your mothers womb, I did add in you the ability to enjoy the weirdness that is the Animal Collective. You are going to think they are pretty weird, Mollie, and they won’t become your all time favorite band, but you can enjoy them a little more than most of your friends would. As far as My Oscar picks, I kinda know who wins already (hint: a lot of My “followers” didn’t see it). However, I still stick to My guns and say that no movie in 2005 was better than The Constant Gardener, and the most annoying movie of 2005 was Walk The Line because they totally left Me out of it and I had a HUGE part in the original script. I love you, Molly! Enjoy John Stewart’s monologue.

Jeremy Sawatzky asks - will sufjan stevens ever hold a concert in manitoba, and if so, when will it be? when will coldplay's next album be released, and will it be any good? is hell a real place, and if so, how does a person avoid going there? like, that whole, "accept jesus as your personal lord and saviour" deal... does that really work? it always seemed kinda silly to me... but is it legit? or should people focus more on living a good life? lots of christians say that if someone doesnt "accept" jesus, they will go to hell... is that true? and if it is, doesnt it screw most of the world? do you like my blog? what do you think about 'the davinci code' book/movie? worthwhile or waste of time?

Whoa!!!! Slow down, Jeremy! Maybe I should make a one question per post rule. Lucky for you, Jesus Christ always answers you. Although, it is not always through this blog and usually people aren’t paying attention when I reply. I’m sneaky that way. Anway, let’s do this. Sufjan may hold a show in Manitoba, but this kinda feels like a test, and I don’t like being tested… kinda like you, J-Train! If you like Coldplay, you’ll like their next album, and you gotta awhile ‘til you hear it. Hell is real, if you want to avoid it be My friend. The whole “accepting Me as your Savior” thing not only works, it is the only hand you can play in the Heavenly Court right before My Dad is about to send you straight down. It might be silly to you, but there won’t be too many laughing come the day of that trial. Don’t focus on living a good life, focus on Me. Nobody will ever get into the Gates because they were a “good person”. If you don’t know Me, you won’t know Heaven, and if you won’t know Heaven, there’s only one other option. To kinda quote one of My favorite flicks, “the greatest trick the devil ever played was making people believe he doesn’t exist”. Yes, this screws over a lot of people, unless you get on the ball and tell them about Me. I got your back, J-Rod. Your blog is cute, but could use some pictures from time to time. The Davinci Code, like to book of Morman, is a great work of fiction that should make a cool flick. I love you, J-Money. Forget Me not.

MJRC asks - Would it be a sin to go see Cloud Cult on Easter Sunday? It doesn't feel quite right to me, but it's the only day they will be in my area. I am conflicted.
Easter is a pretty big day for Me, and I can think of few ways better to celebrate it than at the Cloud Cult show. Just don’t let it get in the way of our relationship. I love you, make sure you are loving Me back.
Ron Freeman asks - Did you have a nickname that didn't make the Bible? ya'know, like Bucky or something?

I always thought I sounded pretty tough with the whole “I Am” thing, but that never really picked up like I thought it should. “The Way” has been kinda an odd one. Just because I say something, doesn’t mean it would make a great nickname. That’s like Me calling you the great “Not Home Right Now” because you said that on your answering machine message once. I got a lot of nicknames, but you don’t need to worry about that. Regarding Bucky, can you believe they brought Bucky back to life in those new Captain America comics?!!! Nobody cool in comics stays dead. I wonder where they got that idea from?

You got a question for Me? Post it in the comments and maybe I’ll answer it on My blog.


At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Proclaimer of truth said...

If your Jesus then you will know my real name!! sometimes as christians we need a sign from you. so give me a sign and tell me my real name. because if you were jesus you would know that i am sold out to you and not just judge my comment. so there's another contridiction. i shall point all my friends to the real jesus who dies and rose again and lives in heaven where he doesn't need anything from the earth so he stays up there. and if you're jesus try using some scriptures rather than talk about useless stuff that will never mean anything in eternity!!! So i leave you with a final word used by the real jesus and not you, "get behind me Satan" Still praying for your seeing of the light.


At 4:11 PM, Anonymous Proclaimer of truth said...

also you never talk about salvation which is definitely what Jesus would do so once again antoher contradiction!!! wake up and use your time for something better than blasphemy!!


At 7:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

People are crazy!!
You're pretty rad though.
Keep up the posting, and let's all hope this guy just stops reading.


At 8:51 PM, Anonymous Ben said...

Hey Jesus,
Is there inteligent life on other planets? If so, do they know about you? Have you lived there? How's that whole thing work.


Do all dogs really go to heaven?

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Jeremy said...

Hey Jesus, I don't have a question. I don't know if you are a country music fan, but thanks for inspiring Alan Jackson to release his new album, Precious Memories.

You're awesome!

At 1:17 PM, Anonymous Marc said...

I love you, Jesus, no matter what people may say. Keep up the blogging.

At 8:55 PM, Anonymous mjrc said...

Hi Jesus. Have you heard these two songs? They are: "Chariot" by Page France and "Born Secular" by Jenny Lewis. I suppose you might consider them theological polar opposites, but I can't for the life of me stop playing either one. Your thoughts?

At 12:29 AM, Blogger Casey Dorrell said...

Dear Jesus,

My conversion continues upon learning of your love for the usual suspects. I imagine the ending was somewhat less thrilling for yourself though. Good thing it holds up to repeat viewings.


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